omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
