I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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