I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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