At least make sure they are 18
Why
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
