DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
