gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize
