I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think i got beer on your cat.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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