I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
