i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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