Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
