there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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