let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
