OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
