I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
