So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
