please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
