and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
