Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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