Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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