I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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