Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
