he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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