Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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