I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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