I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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