I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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