I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
