Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Duck Duck Cougar?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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