got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
