it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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