One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
