sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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