Don't you send me to vm
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I love you. Go after that dick
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
