Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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