At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
