You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
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