butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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