You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
