i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
