he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize