i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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