On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
