Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
