I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
