Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
