his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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