This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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