Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
