Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
