They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize