Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
