It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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