Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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