what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
