If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize