You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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