Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
