The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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