your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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