I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize