I've blown a few things in my day
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Green mimosas i think yes
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
