I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
why do cheetos always look like penises
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize