people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
