Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
