I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
