Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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