and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there's paper in my vomit.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
