I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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