he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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