So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
