Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize