Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
