Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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