I heard we made out
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
