elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I can feel your judgement through the phone
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
