I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
