Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
