I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
