Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
