get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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