Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
he was CRYING into my vagina
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He? As in you personified your dick?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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